| better words . . . . here there and everywhere |
Avoidance is a secret you tell yourself. You wrap it in justification. You fold it away. You pretend it's not there. And then you lie and tell yourself, "it's not my problem" when you know that you're the only one thinking about it and therefore it is your problem. Just like when you promised yourself you'd be beautiful, no, stunning, by your 25th year. This silent, sacred promise to whatever latent genes within you. And you wouldn't be mean. You wouldn't seek revenge. You would just be stunning. But that never happened. And now, now, there's this. When you want to stop talking to everyone and anyone, because of that. When you realize that conversations don't go anywhere anymore, that whoever can say whatever they want, and a disagreement or clash of ideas somehow means you're not getting it, or worse, hearing what you don't want to hear-- (this is the biggest cop-out I've ever encountered). So you stop talking. And nobody notices. And then you realize, that was too easy. |
better places . . . . over under and through |